photography

Justine

The upper half of my body is the part that holds fear. I feel like I live with my lower body, and process with the upper half.


I have a body posture that I automatically adopt when I am in an exciting or scary situation. I always keep my hands between my legs at such times. In fact, it is so noticeable that people who know me well can predict when I am going to keep my hands between my legs in a difficult situation. Again, it’s a body pose that gives me security. It also makes me closed off, which shields the outside world from me. 
With my forehead I catch the sun. When I think of the sun, I always imagine it right up there. The sun is always able to make me stop working and to be still for a moment to let it absorb on my forehead. This started on a trip when I was 12 years old. We were at sea and mom told me this was good for my third eye. I had no idea what that third eye was, but ever since I do catch the sun with my forehead.
I always hold a paper tissue because it makes me feel safe. I am not exaggerating when I say I have a tissue in my hand 24/7. My preference is paper handkerchiefs. I have been doing this all my life; I think it is because I often suffered from nosebleeds as a child. If I have been sitting on a chair somewhere, there are all these wipes on the floor below me.

When Justine told me about her wipe I was extremely moved. I thought it was a very beautiful thing to give you a guarantee of safety. A disposable thing, yet always the same object. We also took pictures in which we were holding the cloth together. 

The day after, I went to see my psychologist, where there is also always a box of disposable tissues on the table. When I stepped outside I felt a similar wad in my coat pocket. And suddenly realized that this is where I also always tend to grab a tissue, indeed it provides safety because for me it provides a distraction from whatever I am currently talking about. This apparently explains the fascination with Justine’s handkerchiefs.
Since then I have started keeping the tissues after each session. 

Olympe

There are three distinct phases in my life concerning my body:

Dancer
Retirement from Dancing
Becoming a Mother

My body has undergone three transformations. As a dancer, I always saw my body as a tool or instrument, less involved in daily life. Dancing often meant performing in front of a mirror, making me both observer and critic. Fortunately, I had the physical form to be a dancer without much effort. However, this phase came with a high risk of injuries; I experienced many.

The dancer’s body was not allowed to break down; it needed to remain an instrument.
The next phase, not being a dancer, was the most challenging. I had to come to terms with myself and figure out what to do with my body now that it was no longer an instrument. I stopped dancing for a long time to understand how my body functioned without it. This was confronting: my body changed, it weakened, and became more rigid, but I still felt a desire to maintain strength and flexibility.

Now that my body belonged to myself, I questioned what I wanted to do with it.
In the third phase, becoming a mother, I remained critical of my appearance due to my ingrained habits. However, pregnancy took over; my muscles were uncooperative, and I experienced it without concern for how I looked. I learned that a body can be more than a tool; it can bring life into the world. Since embracing this new role, I no longer strive for the so-called perfect body. The functionality of my body has taken precedence over aesthetics. I’ve become less obsessive, and even proud of how my body quickly recovered after pregnancy. I have finally allowed my body to rest and simply exist.

Maintaining my body now involves scheduling rest more than ever. I no longer dance for eight hours straight. Through these various transitions, I have never been so in sync with my body, which I’ve rediscovered. Although I still like to stay in shape, I values both mental and physical health. I have come to understand that mental well-being is closely connected to physical health and have actively worked on both.